Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
My breasts were aching with rage.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
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