I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Bring me that man meat
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
