Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
Randomize
