i just google imaged poop.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
