Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
