Where is the hickey?
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
i love accidental penises.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Randomize
