hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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