when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
