yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
