i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
