dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
