I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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