I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Found your dick twin last night
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
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