Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
