called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
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