i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
