i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize