Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
He said I came instead of I'm coming. I wonder if he noticed my state of confusion when I stopped blowing him.
Wasn't he an English major?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
