I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
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