Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
