who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Found the puke drawer
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Randomize
