So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
