I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
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