week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Randomize
