It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
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