I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize