I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Randomize
