i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Randomize
