Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My boob is missing a layer of skin
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
