They should really pass out barf bags in church
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
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