i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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