My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
Randomize
