do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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