If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Randomize
