Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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