Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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