I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
