So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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