dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
