You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize
