I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
