it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
