Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Fuck appropriateness.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
