Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Oh god it's open bar.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
