Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
