During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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