Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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