i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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