so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I'm too high and old for this...
Randomize
