Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Randomize
