Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
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