So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
