What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
