Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
