Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
