I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
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