Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
