once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
