Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
Randomize
