I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize