You work out of a Hotel?
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
operation harelip BJ is a go
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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