your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
