If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Randomize
