Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
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