I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
