am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
