Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
