so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
